If I remember correctly, which I often don’t, I had my first blog on Livejournal (LJ) back in the early 2000’s during my undergraduate years. I spent so much time designing, redesigning, and sharing my thoughts and feelings. Then something happened. I don’t remember exactly when except that it was during my junior year. Someone I interacted with often left a comment that stung. From that day, I was afraid to be honest. I was afraid to share my thoughts and feelings. Soon after, I stopped doing it, as much.
I eventually left LJ, but that created a void. I signed up for Blogger, but deleted that shortly after. Tumblr never felt right. WordPress was too much for me, back then. I hopped on the social media train with Myspace, Facebook, Fubar, and others. Eventually, I admitted that those gave me way too much exposure. I went to journalling exclusively on paper, but even then, it never felt the same.
This issue was that I kept holding back. If I was “too honest” I was afraid that I’d be criticized, even though my journals wouldn’t be read by anyone. If I held back too much, I didn’t feel like I was being genuine. So I quit. I quit expressing myself in written form. I stopped sharing my thoughts on paper. I only spoke with people I felt safe with.
But that void was never filled.
Now, here I am. In 2020. Creeping up on the end of my 36th year of life. A mother. A college graduate. A photographer. And so much more, as you will learn. I’m trying again. NO. I’m not trying. I’m doing. I’m back to share my thoughts, experiences, and growth with the world.
So, come with me, if you want. Read along. Laugh at me. Get mad. Take what you want, of my information, not my creations. Throw the rest away.
I’m only an expert on me. That’s all I have to give. It’s enough for me. I hope it’s enough for you.
I love you.
Andrea